Coco

I was in eighth grade when I discovered Conan O'Brien. The masturbating bear, cliché as it sounds, appeared on the first episode I ever saw. I was masturbating quite a lot back then. It hit home, and it was unlike anything I had ever seen before on television.

I'll admit it. I was happy when Letterman won. Finally, he was first place in late night. But I was never happy that Dave won over Conan. It seemed like, on the other hand, he was finally getting his due. Letterman beats Leno. Leno sucks. Letterman rules. But when it's Dave vs. Conan, it's no longer about winning and losing. David Letterman, and Johnny Carson before him, paved the way for a new breed of late night comedy. You can see it in Dave, in Conan, in Craig, in Jimmy, and yes, even in Jimmy. Instead of incessantly predictable jokes and lame gags stolen from other comedians, David Letterman made late night television something to see and something to talk about, and Conan O'Brien took it somewhere even deeper. Dave made absurdity in comedy a reality, and Conan made choosing a late night host an impossible choice.

Jay Leno is a talking head. Conan O'Brien is a comedic genius. But don't take my word for it...

"Ladies and gentlemen, before we bring this rodeo to a close, I think a couple of things should be said. There's been a lot of speculation in the press about what I legally can and can't say about NBC. And, this isn't a joke, to set the record straight, and this is true, tonight I'm allowed to say anything I want. And no, it's not a joke, but thanks, sir.

"Tonight, I really am allowed to say whatever I want. And what I want to say is this: between my time at Saturday Night Live, the Late Night show, and my brief run here on The Tonight Show, I've worked with NBC for over twenty years. Yes, we have our differences right now. Yes, we're going our separate ways. But this company has been my home for most of my adult life. I am enormously proud of the work we've done together, and I want to thank NBC for making it all possible. I really do.

"A lot of people have been asking me about my state of mind. I'll be honest with you: walking away from The Tonight Show is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Making this choice has been enormously difficult. This is the best job in the world. I absolutely love doing it, and I have the best staff and crew in the history of the medium. I will fight anybody who says I don't... but no one would.

"But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment. Every comedian, every comedian, dreams of hosting The Tonight Show, and for seven months, I got to do it. And I did it my way, with people I love. I do not regret one second of anything that we've done here.

"And, you know, I encounter people when I walk on the street now who are just, who give me a sad look. I have had more good fortune than anybody I know. And if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-11 parking lot, we will find a way to make it fun. We really will. I have no problems. And... I don't want to do it in a 7-11 parking lot. But whatever.

"Finally... I have something to say to our fans. This massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming for me. The rallies... the signs... all this goofy, outrageous creativity on the Internet... the fact that people have traveled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain... it's pouring! It's been pouring for days! And they're camping out... to be in our audience! Really! You...

"Here's what all of you have done: You've made a sad situation joyous and inspirational. So to all the people watching, I can never ever thank you enough for the kindness to me. I'll think about it for the rest of my life, and all I ask is one thing, and this is, I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch:

"Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen."

FREEBIRD!

Peace to you, my friend.